Here is a post from my old blog from October 1, 2015, still very relevant…
I get really puzzled when it comes to thinking about what peoples criteria is for writing off someone as a “negative person” that they no longer want anything to do with. People claim they need to get away from negative people. They also claim to prefer people who are genuine over ‘fake people.’ People also tend to complain about people turning their backs on them whenever they are going through bad times when they may need support from other people the most.
I am not one to broadcast my problems publicly, especially on social networking. I prefer to talk about the things going on in my life privately with those who I feel I can trust, whether in person or through instant messaging. For the past several years, there have been quite a lot of things going on in my life that weren’t quite the best of times. People who I would chat with would ask me what is going on, and I would proceed to tell them. Not looking for advice in most cases, I was just laying it out to them because they asked, and a listening, non-judging ear is always a good thing to help get things out of your system. I was being “genuine” to the people whom I felt I built up a level of trust with, and I would gladly reciprocate, listening to their problems. It seems as time passed, my conversations with these people became more and more brief. They would ask how I was doing, I would tell them, and usually get the standard “well I’m sorry you’re going through that.” type of response. Now, maybe this is just me, but, telling someone you are sorry for something that is happening to them that you are in no way responsible for, seems a little silly. But, not everybody thinks like I do I guess. Not to mention, venting about an issue does not necessarily require an apologetic response at all, other than maybe something along the lines of “oh, that sucks!” and perhaps discussing some of the details. So anyway, usually not long after I am done explaining the negative things that are going on in my life, something would come up on their end, with them saying “oh, hey, I’ve got to go take care of this-and-that, brb!” and they would never come back. In most cases, if not all, I would never hear from these people again until I tried to initiate a conversation with them again, which would usually go about the same way. Eventually, I gave up.
I can only assume I was being “too negative” for them, apparently bringing them down, and was eventually written off as an undesirable person to converse with. So, stay away from negative people… got ya. Must be cheery-positive all the time. The new status quo. OK. It’s like proverbially saying “That old friend of yours that is going through hard times and just needs a listening ear? TO FUCK WITH THEM! They’ll only bring you down!” Some of these same people, when they go through bad times or have an annoyance, promptly broadcast their issues all over social networking. And they do it often, in between posts and memes condemning negative, toxic people and spouting happy, everything-is-wonderful type posts. And they get all sorts of comments lending them support. Many of them of the “I’m sorry you’re going through this…” sort. And then you see them and the people who support them also posting about others putting all their “stuff” out there publicly on social networking, being labeled as attention/drama whores. In other words, complaining about bad, negative people. Yet, they get all sorts of support. But I, someone who prefers to only disclose my happenings to a select, trusted few in private, being “genuine,” am written off.
I don’t get it.