Even though I’m not where I want to be at my job, and having to begrudgingly accept the fact that I will likely never achieve that, my job is going well for the most part.
The big gaping hole in it all is not having someone here to confide in that I fully trust. Someone with whom I can take comfort in the fact that they also have my back. Something that I thought I had for the longest time, but, unfortunately I also learned that you can’t put your full trust in a younger generation. You find that you’re just a convenience for them. They may briefly celebrate the closeness you enjoy, but will quickly forget about you when the next shiny distraction comes along.
Acceptance of these things is a total bastard. It’s also difficult to reconcile the notion of accepting this while also maintaining the friendships that disappointed me so much and not acting on the resentment I feel inside. It’s not their fault. They did nothing wrong in the grand scheme of things. I’m just a needy asshole who doesn’t quite yet know how to manage my high expectations of people.